The relationship between General Robert E. Lee and General Ulysses S. Grant during the American Civil War was complex and evolved over time. While it is true that they eventually met and developed a mutual respect, it would be inaccurate to describe them as close friends. Their interactions and attitudes towards each other were shaped by the brutal realities of war and their respective roles as commanders of opposing armies.
In the early years of the war, Lee and Grant were not directly involved in any significant encounters. Lee was leading the Confederate forces in the Eastern Theater, while Grant initially operated in the Western Theater. It wasn’t until 1864 that their paths would cross on the battlefield.
Grant, known for his relentless pursuit of victory, was appointed commander of all Union forces in 1864. This put him directly in conflict with Lee, who was widely regarded as one of the most skilled Confederate generals. The two men found themselves on opposing sides of some of the bloodiest battles of the war, such as the Wilderness, Spotsylvania, and Cold Harbor.
While Lee and Grant had a professional relationship, it would be a stretch to call them friends during this time. They had a job to do, and that was to defeat each other on the battlefield. Grant, being the aggressor, was determined to wear down Lee’s army and ultimately bring an end to the Confederate cause. Lee, on the other hand, was fiercely loyal to the South and fought to defend it at all costs.
Despite their adversarial roles, there were instances where Lee and Grant showed each other respect. For example, after the Battle of the Wilderness in May 1864, Grant refused to retreat, despite heavy losses. This surprised Lee, who remarked, “I have fought against him for two years, and have never seen him before.” This incident demonstrated Grant’s determination and tenacity, earning him the respect of Lee.
Another notable encounter between the two occurred during the siege of Petersburg in 1864-1865. Grant’s forces had laid siege to Lee’s army, and the Confederates were running low on supplies and morale. It was during this time that Lee’s trusted subordinate, General James Longstreet, suggested to Lee that Grant would offer generous terms of surrender at Appomattox Court House. Longstreet’s suggestion likely influenced Lee’s decision to meet with Grant and discuss surrender terms.
The meeting between Lee and Grant at Appomattox Court House on April 9, 1865, marked a significant moment in their relationship. Grant, recognizing the futility of further bloodshed, offered Lee generous terms of surrender. This act of magnanimity by Grant was appreciated by Lee and demonstrated his respect for his adversary. Following the surrender, Grant and Lee went their separate ways, but there is no evidence to suggest that they maintained a close friendship or continued to correspond after the war.
While Lee and Grant did develop a level of respect for each other during the Civil War, it would be inaccurate to describe them as close friends. Their relationship was primarily defined by their roles as commanders of opposing armies, and their interactions were shaped by the brutal realities of war. Nevertheless, their meeting at Appomattox Court House and the generous terms offered by Grant demonstrated a level of mutual respect between the two men.