When people’s actions don’t match their words?

Answered by Ricardo McCardle

When people’s actions don’t match their words, it can be quite perplexing and frustrating. This disconnect between what someone says and what they actually do often stems from a misalignment between their thinking and their behavior. In other words, there is a discrepancy between their professed values, desires, needs, and expectations, and the way they actually live their lives.

One possible explanation for this mismatch is that individuals may not be fully aware of their true thoughts and beliefs. They may have internalized societal or cultural norms and expectations, leading them to say things that they think they should say, rather than expressing their genuine thoughts and feelings. Consequently, their actions may not align with their words because they are not living authentically and in line with their true values.

Another reason for this inconsistency could be a lack of self-reflection and introspection. Some people may not take the time to truly consider the implications of their words and how they translate into actions. They may not realize that their actions are not in harmony with their words until it is pointed out to them or until they face consequences for their behavior.

Additionally, there may be external factors that contribute to this disconnect. People may feel pressure to conform to societal expectations or to meet the demands of others, which can lead them to act in ways that go against their own beliefs and values. They may fear judgment or rejection if they were to truly express their thoughts and desires, so they choose to say one thing and do another.

Furthermore, inconsistencies between actions and words can also arise from a lack of self-awareness. Some individuals may not fully understand their own motivations and intentions, leading to a disconnect between what they say and what they do. They may have unresolved internal conflicts or unresolved emotions that influence their behavior, causing them to act in ways that are contradictory to what they say.

In my personal experience, I have encountered individuals who have displayed this disconnect between actions and words. For example, I have known people who would claim to value honesty and integrity, yet engage in deceptive and manipulative behavior. Their actions clearly contradicted their professed values and caused confusion and mistrust among those around them.

When people’s actions don’t match their words, there is often a disconnect between their thinking and behavior. This can stem from a variety of reasons, including a lack of self-awareness, societal pressures, and a misalignment of values. It is important to recognize and address this inconsistency in order to live a more authentic and congruent life.