Kageyama’s fear stems from the deep regret he feels after everyone in Kitagawa Daiichi abandoned him and became fed up with him. This abandonment caused him to develop an intense fear of being despised and mistrusted by others. This fear is not just a passing worry for Kageyama; it becomes a significant source of anxiety and distress for him.
One aspect of Kageyama’s fear is the fear of being despised. He is afraid that others will view him as a failure, someone who is unreliable and cannot be trusted. This fear is rooted in the fact that his teammates and friends in Kitagawa Daiichi left him, which made him question his own worth and abilities. The feeling of being despised can be incredibly painful, as it cuts to the core of one’s self-esteem and sense of belonging. Kageyama’s fear of being despised drives him to constantly seek validation from others and to try to prove his worth.
Another aspect of Kageyama’s fear is the fear of being mistrusted. He worries that others will doubt his intentions and question his actions. This fear is born out of the fact that his teammates felt frustrated and abandoned him, suggesting that they no longer believed in him or his abilities. Kageyama deeply values trust and relies on it to build strong relationships with others. The fear of being mistrusted is paralyzing for him, as it prevents him from fully opening up and being vulnerable with others. This fear pushes him to constantly second-guess himself and overthink his every move.
It is important to note that Kageyama’s fear is not something he openly discusses or acknowledges until Tsukishima confronts him about it. This reluctance to address his fear is likely due to a combination of shame, pride, and a fear of further rejection. Kageyama may feel embarrassed about his fear and view it as a weakness. Additionally, he may be afraid that if he admits his fear, others will see him as even more unreliable and untrustworthy.
In my own personal experience, I have witnessed how fear of being despised and mistrusted can have a profound impact on someone’s emotional well-being. This fear can lead to constant self-doubt, anxiety, and a constant need for external validation. It can also strain relationships, as the fear can make it difficult for individuals to fully trust others and be vulnerable. Overcoming this fear often requires a combination of self-reflection, therapy, and building supportive and understanding relationships.
Kageyama’s fear of being despised and mistrusted is a deep-rooted fear that stems from the regret he feels after being abandoned by his former teammates. This fear drives his actions and behaviors, and it takes a concerted effort for him to confront and overcome it.