What does We tell ourselves stories in order to live?

Answered by Robert Dupre

The phrase “We tell ourselves stories in order to live” is a profound observation made by Joan Didion in her collection of nonfiction titled We Tell Ourselves Stories in Order to Live: Collected Nonfiction. In this collection, Didion explores the human tendency to create narratives and construct meaning in order to make sense of our lives and the world around us.

At its core, this statement suggests that storytelling is a fundamental aspect of being human. We use stories as a way to navigate the complexities of existence, to understand our own experiences, and to find purpose and direction in an often chaotic and unpredictable world. Stories allow us to make sense of the past, interpret the present, and imagine a future. They shape our identities, beliefs, and values, providing a framework for understanding ourselves and our place in society.

But why do we need stories to live? One reason is that stories help us create a sense of order and coherence in our lives. They give structure to our experiences, helping us connect seemingly unrelated events and make sense of the world’s randomness. This narrative coherence provides a sense of stability and continuity, allowing us to feel a sense of control and understanding amidst the uncertainties of life.

Moreover, stories serve as a means of self-preservation and self-presentation. We construct narratives about ourselves, our achievements, and our failures to shape our self-image and to form connections with others. These stories become a part of our personal and collective identities, influencing how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us. They help us make sense of our own actions and motivations, as well as understand and empathize with the experiences of others.

In addition to providing personal meaning, stories serve a broader cultural function. They contribute to the formation and transmission of collective beliefs, values, and norms. Through stories, we share our histories, traditions, and cultural heritage. They shape our collective memory and provide a shared sense of identity and belonging.

However, it is important to recognize that not all stories are true or accurate representations of reality. Sometimes, we tell ourselves stories as a means of self-deception or as a defense mechanism to cope with difficult truths. These stories may offer temporary comfort or protection, but they can also hinder personal growth and perpetuate harmful narratives.

Joan Didion’s observation that “We tell ourselves stories in order to live” highlights the fundamental role that storytelling plays in human existence. Stories allow us to find meaning, create order, and shape our identities. They serve as a means of navigating the complexities of life, connecting with others, and transmitting collective knowledge. However, it is important to critically examine the stories we tell ourselves and be aware of their potential limitations and biases.