Should adoptive parents tell the child?

Answered by Cody Janus

As an expert in adoption, I strongly believe that adoptive parents should tell their child about their adoption from the moment they bring them home. It is important for children to have an understanding of their adoption story and to know that they were chosen and loved from the very beginning.

There are several reasons why it is important for adoptive parents to be open and honest about their child’s adoption. Firstly, knowing their adoption story can help children develop a sense of identity and self-esteem. Understanding where they come from and how they became part of their family can give them a sense of belonging and help them navigate their own personal history.

Secondly, being open about adoption can help normalize the experience for the child. By openly discussing adoption, parents can help their child understand that adoption is a common and positive way for families to be formed. This can help combat any potential feelings of shame or stigma that the child may encounter as they grow older.

Furthermore, being transparent about adoption can also help address any questions or concerns the child may have as they grow older. By providing information about their adoption from an early age, parents can create a safe and open environment where the child feels comfortable asking questions and discussing their feelings about adoption.

When it comes to sharing the adoption story, there are many different approaches that adoptive parents can take. The steps taken will likely depend on the child’s individual adoption story and the nature of the open adoption relationship, if applicable.

One approach is to incorporate the child’s adoption story into their everyday life. For example, parents can create a life book or scrapbook that includes photos, mementos, and information about the child’s adoption journey. This can be a tangible way for the child to understand and engage with their adoption story.

Another approach is to use age-appropriate language and explanations when discussing adoption. Younger children may not fully grasp the concept of adoption, so using simple and concrete language can be helpful. As they grow older, parents can provide more detailed information and answer any questions the child may have.

It is also important for adoptive parents to consider the child’s birth family and their role in the adoption story. If the adoption is open or semi-open, parents can share information and updates about the birth family with the child. This can help the child develop a fuller understanding of their history and maintain a connection to their roots.

The key is to create an open and honest environment where the child feels comfortable discussing their adoption story. By providing age-appropriate information and addressing any questions or concerns, adoptive parents can help their child navigate their adoption journey with confidence and a strong sense of self.