How do I forgive myself for mom rage?

Answered by Douglas Hiatt

To forgive yourself for mom rage, it’s important to first acknowledge that it’s a natural and common emotion that many moms experience. It’s okay to feel angry or frustrated at times, but it’s how we respond to those feelings that truly matters. Here are some steps you can take to help forgive yourself and manage mom rage:

1. Understand the triggers: Reflect on what specifically triggers your anger or frustration. Is it lack of sleep, feeling overwhelmed, or unmet expectations? Identifying these triggers can help you better understand why you react the way you do and find ways to manage them.

2. Set realistic expectations: It’s crucial to set realistic expectations for yourself, your kids, and your partner. Remember that no one is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes or have a messy house sometimes. Be kind to yourself and appreciate the small wins instead of striving for perfection.

3. Prioritize sleep and rest: Lack of sleep can significantly impact your mood and patience. Make sure to prioritize getting enough sleep and rest whenever possible. This might mean asking for help from your partner, family, or friends to take care of the kids or household tasks so you can have some downtime.

4. Stop comparing yourself to other moms: The comparison trap can fuel mom rage and make you feel inadequate. Remember that everyone’s journey is different, and what works for others may not work for you. Focus on your own strengths, accomplishments, and what makes you a great mom.

5. Step away to self-soothe: When you feel your anger rising, it’s important to step away from the situation and find ways to self-soothe. Take deep breaths, count to ten, or engage in activities that help you relax and calm down. This could be listening to music, going for a walk, or practicing mindfulness techniques.

6. Let go of some responsibilities: It’s okay to ask for help and delegate tasks. You don’t have to do everything on your own. Let go of some responsibilities and share the workload with your partner, family members, or even hire help if possible. This will give you more time and energy to focus on self-care and reduce feelings of overwhelm.

7. Say no more often: Learning to say no is crucial for your mental and emotional well-being. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs. Saying no to additional commitments or obligations that don’t align with your priorities can help reduce stress and prevent mom rage from building up.

Remember, forgiving yourself is an ongoing process. It’s important to be patient and kind to yourself as you work through these steps. Seek support from other moms, friends, or even professional help if needed. You’re doing the best you can, and that in itself is something to be proud of.