What should you not say at a wedding toast?

Answered by Willie Powers

As someone who has attended and given several wedding toasts, I can provide some insights on what you should avoid saying during this special occasion. Here are 15 things you should not say during a wedding toast:

1. Don’t make an embarrassing joke about the bride or groom: While humor is often appreciated, avoid making jokes that could potentially embarrass or offend the couple. Keep the jokes light-hearted and appropriate for the occasion.

2. Don’t bring up the bride or groom’s exes: It’s best to focus on celebrating the current relationship rather than dredging up past romantic encounters. Leave any mention of exes out of your toast to avoid any discomfort or awkwardness.

3. Don’t make more than three jokes at the bride or groom’s expense: While a few playful jokes can be entertaining, making too many jokes at the expense of the couple may come across as mean-spirited. Keep it balanced and ensure the focus remains on celebrating their love.

4. Don’t hate on anyone: Avoid negative comments or criticism about anyone, including family members, friends, or even the wedding itself. Your toast should be a positive and uplifting moment, not a platform for grievances.

5. Don’t riff: Unless you’re an experienced comedian, it’s best to avoid improvising your toast. Prepare and rehearse your speech beforehand to ensure it flows smoothly and avoids any awkward pauses or rambling.

6. Don’t just talk about the person you’re friends with: While it’s natural to have a closer relationship with either the bride or groom, remember that this toast is about both of them. Be sure to mention qualities and experiences that highlight their relationship as a couple.

7. Don’t bring up past mistakes or embarrassing moments: Focus on the positive aspects of the couple’s relationship rather than dwelling on any past mishaps or embarrassing moments. Your toast should celebrate their love and future together.

8. Don’t make it all about yourself: While it’s fine to share personal anecdotes or stories, avoid monopolizing the toast and making it all about your own experiences. Ensure that the focus remains on the couple and their journey together.

9. Don’t mention any financial or personal struggles: Avoid discussing any financial or personal struggles the couple may have faced, as it could dampen the mood and make people uncomfortable. Stick to uplifting and joyful aspects of their relationship.

10. Don’t mention past relationships of the guests: It’s important to respect the privacy of the guests and not bring up their past relationships or dating history. Keep the focus on the couple and their special day.

11. Don’t make inappropriate or offensive comments: This should go without saying, but it’s crucial to avoid any inappropriate or offensive remarks during your toast. Stay away from sensitive topics, offensive language, or anything that could potentially cause discomfort or offend anyone present.

12. Don’t go on for too long: Keep your toast concise and to the point. Avoid rambling or going off on tangents that could lose the interest of your audience. Aim for a toast that lasts around 3-5 minutes, allowing others to have their turn as well.

13. Don’t mention any regrets or doubts: Avoid bringing up any doubts or regrets about the couple’s decision to get married. Your toast should be a celebration of their love and commitment, not a platform to express reservations or uncertainties.

14. Don’t use inside jokes that only a few people understand: While it’s fine to include a few inside jokes to personalize your toast, make sure they are inclusive and understandable to the majority of the guests. Avoid jokes or references that only a select few would appreciate.

15. Don’t forget to toast the couple: It may seem obvious, but don’t forget to actually raise your glass and toast to the couple’s happiness and future together. End your speech on a positive note and express your well wishes for their journey ahead.

By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your wedding toast is heartfelt, memorable, and free from any potentially uncomfortable or inappropriate moments.