Should you let kids win in chess?

Answered by Ricardo McCardle

Should you let kids win in chess? This is a question that many parents and educators grapple with. On one hand, we want to encourage and support our children’s development and boost their self-esteem. On the other hand, we know that constantly letting them win may not be the best approach for their long-term growth and skill development.

At Story Time Chess, we firmly believe that always letting children win in chess is a losing strategy. While it may seem like a kind and well-intentioned gesture, it can actually hinder their progress and limit their problem-solving abilities. Here’s why:

1. Stifling growth: By always letting children win, we inadvertently send the message that they are not capable of winning on their own. This can create a sense of dependency and hinder their motivation to improve. Learning to lose gracefully and handle defeat is an important life skill that can help children develop resilience and perseverance.

2. Missed learning opportunities: Chess is not just about winning or losing; it’s about the process of thinking strategically, analyzing different moves, and anticipating the opponent’s moves. By constantly giving children the victory, we deny them the chance to learn from their mistakes and improve their critical thinking skills. Losing is an opportunity to reflect, analyze, and come up with better strategies for the next game.

3. Unrealistic expectations: In the real world, not everyone wins all the time. By shielding children from losing, we set them up for unrealistic expectations and a false sense of entitlement. They may struggle to cope with failures and setbacks later in life if they have not developed the resilience and problem-solving skills needed to overcome challenges.

4. Building self-esteem through effort: While winning can certainly boost a child’s self-esteem, it is important for them to experience genuine achievements that come from effort and skill development. By allowing children to work hard, learn from their losses, and eventually taste victory through their own efforts, we help them build a stronger and more authentic sense of self-esteem.

So, what should you do instead? Strike a balance between challenging your child and providing support. Play with them at their level, gradually increasing the difficulty as they improve. Offer guidance, teach them new strategies, and discuss their thought processes during the game. Celebrate their successes, but also encourage them to learn from their losses and keep trying.

In my personal experience, I have seen the benefits of not always letting children win in chess. When I started playing chess with my niece, I would occasionally let her win to boost her confidence. However, I soon realized that she wasn’t improving as quickly as she could have been. So, I started challenging her more, providing guidance, and allowing her to experience losses. Over time, her skills and confidence grew, and she became a much stronger chess player.

Constantly letting children win in chess is not the most effective strategy for their growth and development. It’s important to strike a balance between challenging them and providing support, allowing them to learn from their losses and develop their problem-solving skills. By doing so, we can help children become more resilient, confident, and skilled chess players.